Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
