You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
