Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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