this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
