After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
