I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize