I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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