I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
