he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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