I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
