i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
