life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
