my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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