Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
