you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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