What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
