The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
