apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
