mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Randomize
