remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
