You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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