when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
