sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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