Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
