1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
false alarm. still invincible.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
