Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
