Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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