What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
