If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
