I heard we made out
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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