Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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