how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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