Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
