It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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