I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
