I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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