Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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