I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
