What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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