Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize