Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
