I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
