...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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