Your mouth is God's brothel.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can you repeat that, but with context?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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