R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
