i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
