everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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