yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
