I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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