i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
