where am i from again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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