soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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