I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
