8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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