so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You took a bar mat shot.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
